Tried to do many different things to change my "negativity" state but nothing seems to work permanently. I tried to watch movie, which is one of my favorite past time, and I bought "Night at the Museum 2". Although I had a good laugh and felt better but it was just temporary, I fell back to my negative state the next day.
I played golf and I was hoping that doing something I like would help to pick myself up but ended up making a fool out of myself and not to mention poorer me (got whack left, right & center!). I can't tee off, my short game sucks, and worst is that I took an average of 3 putting shots! Oh btw, in almost every hole, I had my shots either in the bunker, drain or OB!
I tried to jog but only manage to run for about 50meters and i fell flat. Cant' run at all. Tried the self motivational thingie but doesn't work. The only consolation is that I manage to walk about 2-3 miles. Felt a little bit better after the walk. Tried to blog but words, ideas and my thoughts doesn't seems to come out right - very messy.
However, I felt better since last weekend. I think spending time with "her majesty" and the 2 princesses helped me tremendously. I've completely forgotten and lost track about the "miserable" feeling. Going thru their homework, played tic-tac-toe, snake and ladder, watch my elder ride bicycle with her cousin, tried to teach my younger one to ride was quite joyful and delighted.
This is definetly one of the medicine I needed most but unfortunately, its Monday today! They have to go to school and work! Meantime, I'm still not 100% cured yet! I wish everyday is a weekday ... ;)
I need to find something else to help turn things around permanently leh. I need to discard this lousy state of mine. It's not healthy and certainly not productive being in this state for so long! I need something to stimulate and invoke my "long term" positive energies.
Anyway, things that I haven't tried but I think that can "pick" me up are the followings:-
1. To sit in a motivation session to get myself pump up. But Anthony Robbins not in town!
2. To hire a witch (if there is one in M'sia). Maybe they can put some positive spellcast on me?
3. To watch a stand up comedy show. Maybe they could cheer me up. They say laughter is the best medicine right? But I'm not sure if there is such a show in KL. Ada meh?
4. To get a good aromatherapy massage. hmmm - this option is more promising and easier to do as we have a few in Sg. Long. woo hoo... i'm already felt better!!!!
5. Eat durians? Tried. It worked but I cannot be eating it everyday right?
Any suggestions?
Oh, I wanna share this song with you ... listen to this little girl sing! It's definitely my favorite.
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OH MY !! So nice to see you "back" ... I missed you !!
ReplyDeleteI too was in a downward spiral (see the missing days in my blog) ... how difficult. I was miserable.
My solution: Find someone that needs a favor and help out. I sewed a cushion for a friend's wicker bench; I made some appetizers for a co-workers graduation party; and my friend whose son has cancer ... I sent him a check for one day of work so he could spend time with his family and sick child instead of worrying about medical bills.
The end result ... my life is rich. The people I helped are people who make me smile ~ who inspire my writing ~ who make me feel like I can make a difference in my small corner of the world. And .. all I give comes back ten-fold.
And you my Durian friend ... add so much richness to my life ... you expand my horizons and make me want to reach out for all the unknown life has to offer.
Welcome Back !
Hi Durian Guy! I missed you too! I'm happy to have you back as well!
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to "fall off the wagon" and feel this way at times. The key is to realize you're on the way to feeling lousy and catch it before it gets to you. I think you're close to doing that, since you can at least write about it, recognize it, and are trying to fix it.
Unfortunately all of your solutions have been very superficial. You need to look deeper. Think of all the things that are great in life instead of what's lacking. It'll bring out the positive rather than the negative. Then really evaluate your entire existence and isolate those areas where you think you're lacking. You can then develop a plan to fill in those gaps and wake up every single day knowing that you'll do something about it.
What used to really affect me the most was aimlessness. The feeling of just "being" and not really doing anything substantial. If you feel this way, it's quite common and actually a good sign that you're looking for something greater and deeper.
It's there and you'll find it. I was told long time that I just need to "listen." Listen to what?!?!? I couldn't figure it out... I eventually did and so will you.
I'm glad you're writing about these things because that's always been therapeutic for me:)